Wednesday, February 19, 2014
I normally don't like to write about personal issues publicly, I tend to make those posts private, but lately, I've been thinking about friendship. If you're my friend, then you know it, I'm a pretty darn good friend. 

Friendship (noun), according to Merriam-Webster
1. The state of being friends.  
2. The quality or state of being friendly 

What does that exactly mean? Are we friends because we say hello to each other, are friendly to one another, what constitutes a friendship. Wikipedia says that friendship is a relationship of mutual affection between two or more people. Friendship is a stronger form of interpersonal bond than association. So again, what makes us friends? 

I believe that friendship is a a two-way street, I cannot continuously be contacting someone or vice versa, that wouldn't make me a good friend. I believe that friends are there for each other, which can range from just listening to doing silly things together. Friendship is not supposed to be one person, the same person, always initiating the relationship. That's what I call a faux friend. In my life time, I've encountered many of these people and for the most part, they have dropped off to wayside. What got me thinking was, why exactly is that? Not everyone has to be friends, but why do friendship that seemed to be good just fizzle? (Note: all professional schools are like high school, you see the same 100 or so people everyday, there will be cliques; whoever told you differently, they lied).
Which brings me to frenemies. According to Wikipedia, a frenemy is a portmanteau of "friend" and "enemy" that can refer to either an enemy pretending to be a friend or someone who really is a friend but is also a rival. I think Mean Girls said it best, frenemies are enemies that act like friends, or "fraters" are friends that secretly hate you. Being a girl is tough, mean girls really do exist, but being a mature woman is tougher. I found that girls who haven't yet fully matured act high school like and it's hard to deal with sometimes. Naturally as women, we are emotional people and tend to think with our hearts rather than be logical when it comes to friends, especially someone you liked and had a relationship with. 

After much thought, I've realized, how to handle so called frienemies and faux friends; simply by not caring. It seems to be working in my favor and I do my best not to let these petty "friendships" bother me anymore. You only live once #YOLO (I couldn't resist), and it's not worth your time to let these "friendshipsbother you, you have other friends who are actually in a friendship with you. And as I've grown older, I've noticed the number of my friends has dwindled; I can literally count my friends on one hand. That's not to say I don't have a lot of friends, but I have a few quality friends that I know will be there for me when I need it, not when it's convenient for them. If I'm your friend, I'm there, I listen, I'm loyal, I go above and beyond for my true friends, they all know this, I truly love them like sisters. I will never expect anything from anyone, but I appreciate and know the value of having a good friend. 


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